Flapjacks – or why I’m annoyed by John Barrowman…

Nope, it’s not the cheesyness. And the guys got one hell of a singing voice, so it ain’t that.

Its the RAF greatcoat.

Temps passe, a Doctor Who fan could happily walk down the street in a big, flappy coat and no one would bat an eyelid – well, unless it was bloody hot cos that would have been silly. No, you see, it was the addition of ‘The Scarf’ that caused the abuse to start. So, sans scarf, one could sort of get away with a big, flappy coat.

Face facts here. Doctor Who fans have several built in design features. One of which is an obsession with certain types of clothing – the big, flappy coat, the scarf, the waistcoat and the optional hat. We can’t help it – back in the 70’s and 80’s the BBC experimented with subliminal messaging using Doctor Who as its basis. Bob Holmes thought it would be a giggle – as he had a nice mac, oh, and a pipe – to make fans wear certain types of clothing. Look, it could have been worse – the experiment could have continued well into the eighties and to my knowledge, only Gareth Jenkins and Ness Bishop have ever, ever worn a Colin Baker costume….I’m drifitng.

But, you see, nowadays its a lot harder to get away with things. Thanks to John Bloody Barrowman one can’t wear a decent big, flappy coat without the obligatory drunk yelling out ‘Oi! Torchwood!’ before going on to mumble about ‘but issa dog…with a trumpet…’.

Now, I LIKE big, flappy coats. Always have done….from the dufflecoat I had when I was a mere teen, through to the Fireman’s greatcoat I had in 1990 (destroyed by a mad landlady – like the series 18 scarf my gran knitted me – yeah, the colours were wonky, but my gran spent ages on that!) to something I aquired towards the end of last year.

I actually wanted a Royal Navy greatcoat – I was in the Navy – not for long, but still, as well as the Sea Cadets for 5 years, so I thought it fitting that as I was going to get a big, flappy coat, it should be RN.

Trouble was, could I find one that would fit? Hah! And it got worse…the only greatcoat I could find looked like this…

NOT Jack's coat, ok? ARGGGGGGGG

NOT Jack's coat, ok? ARGGGGGGGG

I bought it and awaited the usual comments about a) ‘You only bought it cos of Torchwood’ and b) The usual nazi comments from someone.

But I don’t care. Its bloody wonderful. Big, large pockets, it keeps the rain and the wind out and protects the legs right down almost to the ankles – and considering the state my legs have been in of late, thats a big plus. In fact, I can’t understand why big, flappy coats aren’t seen more. I mean, they simply make sense – for the reasons I gave above. Instead little chavs wander around in thin, short jackets, or the odd anorak thingy, shivering, whilst I happily..er…shuffle onwards, protected from all elements. Add The Scarf (which is just SO comfy and yum to wear) and well…I may look like a plank, but I know who’s warmer and more comfortable.

Well, until ‘Oi, Torchwood…Doctor Whoooo ooo, the Tardis……iss schtill a dog with a trumpet…sss brilliant…’ rings out across the shopping precinct……

More sadness soon and yes, musical treats for Christmas…..

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December 2008
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