Planet Of The… Er… Dull…

Ok, I admit it. My Fan Gene won out and yes, I feel cruddy for it.

Not just cruddy for being unable to stick by my principles, but also…dear Bod….Is THAT why I sold out?

Was it actually worth it?


Very much NO.

Planet of the Dead starts off just fine…nice lil theft, mad doc dave popping on a bus – with a carefully placed Easter Egg to remind folks of when this is broadcast – cos face facts, with easter being a floating event we’ll never be too sure…obviously someone in Pope Arsehole’s dept can’t be bothered to actually find out when one guy was nailed to a tree… Yeah, I know, it’s based around the lunar cycle…makes complete nonsense of organised religion which is, face facts, complete nonsense. Oh, I have my beliefs, I just hate them to be organised…

Ahem..I digress..

The lil iddy biddy bus goes through the tunnel and piff paff poof, suddenly we’re in Dubai.

What a waste of money. Dear Bod, how the hell can they justify it. Seriously..a few nice pics and thats it. Sorry, but I reckon it’s almost a criminal waste of money. They should be bloody ashamed. In fact, get RTD to repay the money out of his salery. Im not a RTD knocker – yes he has his faults, but then so does anyone and I certainly couldn’t write stuff like he does… but really..this was one extravagance too far.

Anyway. The bus passengers are…well…non-entities, really. Just there to..er…well…um…look, there was a nice lady who’s only function was to warn Proper Dave that naughty type things will be happening a little later in the year, so don’t forget to tune in. The only other possible function for the passengers was as a reflection of ‘Midnight’. This time there’s faith in Proper Dave and he succeeds without any sacrifices and being clever helps him rather then turns em against him. Anyway, why bother with Ugly People on the bus when you have Lady Posh Totty to flirt with and spend 45 minutes congratulating each other on how good you both are? All Proper Dave seems to do in this story is ask himself what something is and then give chunks of exposition. Thats in between the flirting, of course. I don’t mind a sexual Doc…but the story must come first.

So..well..the Dubai stuff and the story around it are a complete waste of time. Dull, dull, dull. Other charecters forgotton about, a Doc thats just there to tell folks whats happening and not really anything else…sorry Gareth, it just didn’t work.

Except for one superb addition to the mythos.


And his Bernards.

Oh, what a joy that charecter was. How utterly wonderfully played by Lee Evans. We badly need to see more of Malcolm, d’ya hear me MN Vast Toffee??? Truly a spiritual descendant of Sgt Osgood. Mind you, this and Torchwood have now shown that UNIT, (Thats the UNITED NATIONS Intelligence Taskforce!!), is a very…hmm, hard edged organisation. This is understandable, but it doesn’t sit well with our cosy Lethbridge-Stewart days. I don’t see Brigadier Courtney pulling a gun on his own science advisor just cos he wants to wait a sec. Pulling a gun, yes..but Great Uncle Alistair always had a modicum of sense. Even in the Three Doctors!

So, all in all, forgettable. Bar Malcolm and the fact that all that money was wasted.

Damn shame.

6 Responses to “Planet Of The… Er… Dull…”

  1. 1 wyn
    April 21, 2009 at 11:27 am

    Tony, Tony, Tony, were you in a bad mood when you watched this? Or wrote this? (Patronising enough? ;))
    Trip to Dubai dodgy? Yes. Visuals worth it? Possibly.
    I thought it was a cracking romp of a story, one that was intentionally lightweight to give the Doc his last hurrah before it gets dark (and judging by the preview – blimey it looks dark).
    My only problem with it was that the CGI of the bus looked rushed.
    Apart from that everything else was great for a bank holiday funfest.

    So, how many Tardis Groans? …erm, maybe not…

    Bod be with you my son


  2. 2 macfadyan
    April 21, 2009 at 11:35 am

    rofl… romp? Romp??? ROMP????????????????!!!!!!!! (best colin baker impersonation, honest)..wasn’t even a romp…it just…was…. I was only Mr Grumpy AFTER Id watched it….honest 😛

  3. 3 wyn
    April 22, 2009 at 11:22 am

    Tony, I don’t know your exact age, but I suspect that you (and I) are too old to start using phrases such as rofl. Doesn’t really fit with THE Colin Baker.

    In fairness, I only use words like romp in a textual context. It’s not a word that fits with everyday speach, it only fits with newspaper headlines, like rumpus, and fracas.

    Go with Bod, my son…


  4. 4 macfadyan
    April 22, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    Im eleventy billion.

    Or 41


    Depends on the weather. Anyway, whats the point of being grown up yada yoda blah. 😛

    I’m sure THE Colin Baker, may his mashed potato never dry and his ketchup always be easy to open, would approve.

    Maybe not.

    Aha, as in ‘Phoar, what a scorcher, it was the Sun wot won it, yer honour’ sort of headline thingy?
    Mind you, several chappy peoples from cardiff did describe it as a romp..one last romp for proper dave etc…

    However, I’m rather looking forward to next year…….

  5. 5 Lizaanne42
    May 7, 2009 at 2:05 am

    I’ve finally seen it– I’ll write up my ideas soon.

    • 6 lizaanne
      June 5, 2009 at 2:58 am

      These comments appeared similarily else where, but here we go…
      As for “Planet of the Dead,” I must disagree with you. It was so much better than “The Next Doctor”!

      I’m interested in why the Doctor can be effective in this situation but not in “Midnight.” Very interesting contrasts, especially from the same author. I’d like to hear your ideas on the subject.

      Here are my thoughts: In contrast to “Midnight” with its claustrophobic atmosphere, here the passengers have the option of leaving the bus and seeing the sky & the planet. Also, The Doctor doesn’t appoint himself leader, he becomes so when Christina, and the others, realize that he understands more than they do about this situation. In “Midnight,” although he figured out the situation a bit quicker, he really didn’t have any more information than they did. In addition, The Doctor can prove the wormhole is there by throwing a rock at it, and the bus driver proves that the others have to listen to the Doctor to survive. In “Midnight,” he had only his feeling that she was dangerous, until it was too late, so their hyteria grew to be uncontrolled. Here, The Doctor stops the cycle of hysteria by refocusing them on their loved ones. Also, these bus passengers have things to do, ways to use their skills and “solve” the problems, so they don’t have time to panic much. Of course, it helps that initially the conflict is a situation, not an enemy. Then, when the enemy does appear, it is OUTSIDE of the group, rather than one of their own. I think “Midnight” was better written, but I enjoyed “Planet of the Dead” more.
      Ok, and my general comments now: I love it that the Doctor has to navigate an automated menu! Also, I like that the Doctor asked which file was Malcolm’s favorite—and noted that they handled the giant Robot wrong. Interesting how they showed that although the Tardis is in the Doctor’s head, it is NOT in Christina’s, so she cannot understand the alien’s language. We don’t get to see that very often. Wait, though, an entity turning thriving civilizations into sand—way to steal the Crystalline entity from Star Trek, RTD! Cool looking swarms, though. Lady Christina is a fun companion as a one-off, but she would get tedious after a while. I’m glad she flies off at the end. I do like Malcolm. I hope we see more of him in the future.
      Why did they call UNIT instead of Torchwood? “Your song is ending soon.” Very nice allusion to the Ood. “I’ll just step inside this police box and arrest myself.” Ha! Overall, good stuff. More, please.

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