Archive for August, 2013


Doctor Who – The Flashing Blade Podcast – 1-166

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Just in time for Whooverville 5…

Steve ‘I have a very nice beard’ Hatcher is joined by some bloke called Ian – also from the Whoovers. This is because Bob appears to have left this universe.

Anyway, they have a nice natter about Big Finishe’s Counter Measures 2 – now even Chunkier!

And in the end, the sound of the thunder’s drowned out all the pleas..

Check out this episode


Doctor Who – The Flashing Blade Podcast – 1-165

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 How was your holiday? Nice? Were there hats involved?

Anyway, Sinister and Siobhan look at the forthcoming dvd releases of The Ice Warriors and Scream of the Shalka. Oh, and did anything get announced while we were away?


And in the end, well… music, of course. Stupid boody question…

Check out this episode





So, anyway, I’ve been thinking about writing this for a while. As some of you may know, I came out as transgendered on New Years Eve, 2011.


On both shows.


To a combined worldwide audience of about 15k.


Well, if you’re gonna do it, do it big, LOL.


Now I’m well over half way through the process, I decided to write a few thoughts down.


A bit of history. I’ve always known that I was, er, ‘different’. It’s a fairly typical feeling among transgendered people. I only really started to put my finger on what it was.


I left Jersey (The ORIGINAL Jersey, the corrupt cesspit that’s covering up over 100 cases of child abuse) back in 1989.I came to the UK simply because this was where I could ‘get a sex change’.

If only it were that simple.


I was very innocent – aw bless – and the UK was a big, rough place. On top of which I went though what a lot of girls do – denial and trying to live life as a ‘normal’ man. I even ended up moving in with someone. It didn’t help that I had other mental health problems and, to be fair, I must have been a nightmare to live with. And of course, ticking away in my head was the trans time bomb. Life just was never going to be normal. Whatever that is.


Anyway, went that went south, I tried to transition for the first time. This was a Bad Thing. Seriously, when you’ve just broken up from a relationship, one that you really had a lot of emotion invested in, and you’re also homeless as a result, turning around and telling people you’re trans and trying to actually do something about it is just an iddy bit foolish. On top of which, Charring Cross Hospital was not the kindly and helpful place it is now. They insisted that you had to swap male to female roles immediately. No support given. Indeed, one of the shrinks there started screaming at me, he was so angry that I wasn’t conforming to his rigid view.


So. That didn’t work then. I also got attacked twice around where I live. So my confidence hit an all time low. When you’re forced into going out dressed as a woman, immediately, no choice in things, it’s a huge culture shock. Your head is lowered, you’re constantly hoping that people won’t look and stare etc… Then you worry about abuse.


With no support from Charring Cross.


Oddly, it didn’t work out.


So, I fumbled through life, realised I had mental health problems – well.. had it spelt out to me in simple words, would be a more accurate way of putting it – not connected with trans issues. Eventually, around four or five years ago I was ready to try again. Charring Cross had changed a little, but they weren’t quite ‘there’ yet. At least there was no shouting this time. It was still going to be difficult, but I was going for it.


And then I got Very Ill Indeed. Some of you may know of my connective tissue disease. Basically I fell over and two days later was unable to move due to arthritis throughout my body. The shock of the fall had triggered… something. It took the docs 6 months to work out what was wrong, then ages to get it under control. It wasn’t just arthritis, oh no. Pleurisy, neropathy (my legs and feet are almost numb), my lungs turned into Swiss cheese and much more. As you can tell from this, I was in no way in any position to continue transitioning. Or even start.


Anyway, late 2011 I was in ‘the right place’. More on that in a moment. So, after telling a close friend – let’s call her ‘Bert’, and then as she has a mouth the size of a Parish oven, it getting broadcasted to everyone, I went back up to Charring Cross.


Bloody hell the place had changed. It’s now all about facilitating the transition – once the diagnosis has been made by two shrinks. They provide non-trans counselling, which was a blessing to me. The chance to sit and talk to a trained person, a chance denied me by the main mental health services, was a wonderful thing and did me the world of good. Also, you don’t have to immediately switch from the male to female role. You transition. No. Really. At last they let you set the pace. So, I was able to gradually change my appearance, as I got more comfortable, and because it was gradual, people around me didn’t really notice as such. So I went more androgynous, and now I happily breeze around in skirts, tops etc. I feel female, if that makes sense. No longer constrained by the trappings of masculinity, no longer having to pretend. Yes, my body needs to catch up, lol. I need to lose a lot of weight – weight that I put on thanks to the steroids I was given when I was ill, and I haven’t been able to shift it. Once I do, I’ll be passed onto the surgeon. I’m in such a great place in my mind now. I haven;t been like this for as long as I can remember. Oh, the hormones are taking their toll on that, lol. I’m currently going though male menopause and female puberty. So I do get very grumpy over the silliest of things. I apologise in advance! However, the hormones aren’t doing a great job on my physical appearance. I may need a boob job just to actually have some cleavage! GRR.


But I want to give a little advice to anyone reading this and going through the whole raging storm of thoughts and emotions oh coming to terms with being transgender. It gets better. Trust me. It does. Do NOT be scared. For a start you are not alone. It may feel that you are but you aren’t. Find one best friend and talk to them. If they are the friend you think they are, they will stand by you. Talk to a GP. But most of all, do not do anything until you feel that you are in the right place, mentally. When you feel confident enough, when you think.. ‘yeah, it;s time’. And you WILL know when that point happens. Don’t try to rush it. Just let it gently happen. And try to get accepted to Charring Cross Hospital. Because they really are the best. Once you are, do as they ask. They really do know what they are doing, and have managed to get it just right.


Oh… and try not to have a brother who gets tiddly and tells your father….. thankfully it worked out OK, LOL.


So, now I’m playing the waiting game. Waiting on weight loss, waiting on appointments. But it’s all good….